I Admit It, I'm An Awesome Cook

I made some homemade soup the other night and as we sat there nibbling on homemade herbed flat bread and delicious soupy goodness I looked over at my husband and said, "Honey, I have to confess, I'm an awesome cook."

He, of course, agreed.

Now, I'm a bitchy cook. I tend to get cranky when cooking over a hot stove and I'll cuss anything in the room (well, not anything, I wouldn't do that to the kidlet) if I burn a hand. I'll grit my teeth when something bubbles over. I'm almost convinced by now that this crabbiness is part of what makes my stuff - the food, man! - so awesome. Some people think it's the love in the food. It's not, it's the bitchiness. Err, if that makes any sense.

Anyway, the whole point is - I have recipe for you! (BTW, fuggetabout the bisque I talked about posting last time. Hubbster liked it but I think it needs serious work. So much for my original work of food art.)

Creds go to the Food Network with a couple of slight variations by moi.

White Bean and Escarole Soup w/Sweet Italian Sausage

• 2 tablespoons olive oil
• 2 ounces pancetta or prosciutto cut into 1/4-inch cubes
• 1/2 cup diced onion
• 4 cloves garlic, minced
• 1 teaspoon minced rosemary
• 1 teaspoon minced thyme
• 1/4 teaspoon red pepper flakes
• 1 chicken flavored bouillon cube
  
• 1 package Johnsonville sweet Italian sausage, casings removed and cooked through, chopped
  
• 1 head escarole, (about 1 pound) trimmed, washed, and coarsely chopped
• Two 15 ounce cans cannellini beans, rinsed and drained
• 1 can chopped canned plum tomato, preferably the garlic,basil, oregano "flavored" variety
  
• 5 cups chicken broth, homemade or low-sodium canned
• 1 teaspoon kosher salt plus more- strictly optional
  
• Freshly ground black pepper

You can cook your Italian sausage the day before to save some time.

In a soup pot, heat the oil over medium heat, add the pancetta, and saute for about 5 minutes. Remove meat with a slotted spoon and set aside. Add the onion and saute until golden, about 10 minutes - although you might want to lower the temp to low for this; 10 minutes almost had mine turning too brown. Add the garlic, rosemary, and pepper flakes; saute for 3 minutes more. Add the escarole, stirring for 2 minutes more. Add the beans, tomato, broth, bouillon cube and salt to taste* (I did not add salt as the bouillon was sufficient); bring to a boil. Lower the heat to maintain a gentle simmer, cover, and cook for 10 to 15 minutes. Stir in the reserved pancetta and season with salt and pepper to taste (again, added NO salt). Serve with the oil and/or cheese and the crusty bread.**

* Again, I did not add salt; the bouillon cube did the trick in that regard and the soup has a lot of good flavor anyway without extra salt. In fact, you might want to leave the boullion out too if you want lower salt. I'm betting it'll still taste good.

**For a great bread, and if you're in the market to make your own to accompany the soup, I made this herbed flatbread recipe. SO dang good. Easier than it seems as well.

Also, Food Network suggested on their site that the soup be served w/olive oil drizzled over the top or Parmesan sprinkled over it. We didn't try it like this, but will next time.

Crock Pot Hooooooooo!

OMG, yall. I still haven't colored my gray hairs on top of my head. My wonderful sissy poo does it for me, so I should just show up at her house and demand some color. But I won't. We're both just busy. Love ya, sissy poo!

Anyway, this post so isn't about my hair. It's about fooooooooood!

You see, I'm a crock pot ho. Which makes me sound like I make so much stuff in the crock pot that I'm a genius with one, but I really don't make all that much. I do tend to use them more this time of year, and I do like the results. I enjoy them. Hence - crock pot ho.

All that ridiculous, useless talk aside, I have a new recipe for you. Totally made this up. That's the beauty of the crock pot! That's right, baby, get your chef hat out. Sad part is I have no pictures, which is one thing I love about food blogs (heh - lucky this isn't one then). Plus I suck at taking food picks. Maybe the awesome Christine can show us something (and some camera tips - le hint) via her blog with it's new direction some day?

Without further blather, I give you:

The Fuggetaboutit* Crock Pot Dinner

*Get it? Fuggetaboutit? Oh OK - it's an Italian inspired dish, and you put it in the crock, forget about it for a while while it cooks. *rolls eyes*

4-6 chicken breasts (or ya know, however many the heck you want)
2 cans diced tomatoes (any kind; plain, fire roasted etc.)
1 package cremini mushrooms, aka baby Portabellos (you can use button if you prefer but I don't know why you would...)
1 diced onion
1 Tbls Italian seasoning
2 tsp fresh ground pepper
3-4 good-sized garlic cloves, minced
2 tsp salt, optional
1/4 C Marsala wine
1 8oz. pkg. marscapone cheese
Fettucini or other favorite pasta (optional)

Layer ingredients in this order: one can tomatoes, sprinkle in some of the Italian seasoning and pepper (stir), chicken breasts, one can tomatoes, mushrooms, pour over rest of Italian seasoning and pepper. Set your crock pot's timer (if it has one) for eight hours on low.

Then fugetaboutit. (soooooorrry.....)

When the eight hours are up, remove chicken to a plate to save. Mince garlic and add to crock. Add wine, salt and marscapone cheese, stirring till cheese dissolves. At this point, you can add more salt/pepper if you like. I've found that crock pots can dilute the taste of things over those long slow-cooked hours, so that's why I didn't add some of these ingredients till after the longer cooking time.

Put chicken back in pot, making sure to submerge it beneath the sauce if possible. Put lid back on and turn crock to high for approximately another hour. This will get the rest of those new flavors incorporated into everything and (hopefully) cook off most of the wine's alcohol (which, as we know, you never quite cook off all the alcohol - oh darn).

You can serve this over some cooked fettuccine, or it's tasty enough to have alone. Heck, it would even be good with a small side of garlic mashed potatoes.

We had a lot leftover, so Saturday I'm going to make - soup! And not just any soup, but a bisque with plenty of shredded pieces of chicken. I'm planning to puree the sauce in my food processor (do that cold, folks; hot splatters right out of the processor!), possibly add a regular-sized can of tomato soup and some milk or half and half and wallah! I'll let yall know how that goes in my next post.

Gray Hair Iz Pretty Gray, Ackshully

So I get home yesterday evening and it's no surprise I'm so tired I can barely see straight. Getting too little sleep does that to a person. Still, I was exceedingly proud when the hubbster looks at me (and I actually comprehended what he said), fingers the crown of his head and says that the guys at work told him he was getting gray hair back there.

I had told him this just a few days ago. Now, I didn't tell him this to upset him, but I should have known better because he's actually, surprisingly, a little sensitive about the whole getting older schtick. It does no good to remind him that I've had gray hair coming in since I was about 25 or 26 and that it's still coming in with us both in our 30's. You know, welcome to the club and all.

So I put my arms around him, snuggle in close and tell him that I'm so glad we get to grow old together, that I'm glad we're older now. Let's face it, life is good even if the shit won't stop hitting the fan with annoyances. We've got steady jobs, we can still afford our house (ducks, whips out failed economy repellent) and we haven't had to struggle to provide for our child. We've done did good, yo.

So I say bring on the gray hairs - after all nothing's going to stop them now. I'm excited to go in these future steps with him. Really, and despite the occasional oh noes we all go through when married, I couldn't be luckier.

Tired Momma Kitteh is Tired

A little over two weeks ago, I had my sinuses roto rootered. Fer realz. Know how I've bitched off and on on here about not feeling well and whaaaaa? (Oh wait, you have a life. Trust me, I've bitched about it.) Turns out I had a reason, and it was that my sinuses were not able to drain properly. That means surgery. Thankfully I have a great, wonderful doctor and do you know that he found...

*fast forwards through the grossedy McGross details*

But it's going to be a month, maybe even two, before I really start to even feel better. When I saw the doc for my first follow-up last week, I did admit that I feel slightly better already. However, I'm still going to bed/waking up most days with enough pain to be uncomfortable. So not exactly all-out pain, but that nagging throbbing and pressure all throughout my forehead, eyes, nose, teeth, chin, you name it. If it resides on my head, it's feeling it.

This morning I literally saw stars when I woke up and I had to remind myself that Self, no, you are not on a Ferris wheel. Several hours later, I'm still very dizzy whenever I stand up. Thankfully the day is gorgeous and hubbster has taken kidlet outside for a swim.

So I suppose for a few more weeks I'll pretty much keep feeling like that kitty above, with hopes that it'll get a little better every day. And I hope to hell it does because I'd like to go outside and take pictures of kidlet and be a fully active parent/wife again, not to mention kicking some reading butt on the treadmill. Thank you, very much.

Horrible Mom Feels Better Actually

On the way home last week - or was it going to daycare that morning? Who the hell knows. The point is, my kidlet asks for the gazillionth time if we can go to McDonald's on the way home. I promptly said, "No."

"But, MOMMIE, you say no every day!"

Not only did I LMAO, bu this really made my day. Maybe I'm not such a horrible mom after all.

Move Along, Nothing New Here

I know you'll know what I mean when I say the shit's been hitting the fan, it feels like, one right after the other. I'm extremely ready for a vacation, the one I fantasize never coming back from. It's been one of those months. I'd spell it all out, but how boring would that be?

Mom's Squash Casserole

If you haven't already figured it out, I'm pretty lazy. Bet you never guessed by the sporadic posting. Since Holly REALLY WANTS THIS RECIPE, I'm finally posting it.

FYI, this is actually a Weight Watcher's recipe...though I don't know how or why, it seems as calorie-laden as most any other casserole. Maybe because it doesn't have the cream of yada yada soup that a lot of squash casserole recipes do (or maybe the key is a normal, small portion). Anywho, my version is very much a loose recipe - there aren't any exact measurements. I just use the same spoons, amount scooped, etc., each time. I don't even need the written recipe anymore.

Mom's Squash Casserole

Feeds about 4-6

6-10 squash, yellow and zucchini or just yellow depending on preference
15 crushed crackers, like Ritz, or you can use about 1C dry breadcrumbs
2 lrg. eggs
Couple dashes Worcestershire sauce
1-2 C sharp cheddar cheese, grated; use amount you like, we like more cheese
1 scoop tub butter, like Country Crock, I use a serving spoon to scoop it
1 scoop Miracle Whip, same kind of spoon as above
salt and pepper to taste

Combine all ingredients except squash in a bowl. You can do this first or while the squash is doing its first round of cooking.

Cut your squash up fairly thin, about 1/4 inch thick (you don't want huge chunks as you'll have to mash it), place in microwavable bowl. Cook for ten minutes, stir and cook for ten more minutes. You'll then need to mash/strain as much water from the squash as possible. I use my spaghetti strainer, scoop about five big scoops of squash at a time into strainer and mash it all up with a hand held potato masher. Do this till all squash has been mashed. Place squash in bowl with other ingredients and stir thoroughly. Try not to leave any lumps of butter, etc.

Place all of this in a microwavable casserole dish (with its sides sprayed w/Pam), smooth out top w/spatula. Cook in microwave for 8 minutes at 80% power. Stir and cook again for 8 minutes at 80% power. If you made more than the ingredients above, you may need to cook it longer, or split it into two casserole dishes. Depending on you microwave too you might have to cook it longer. It should be nice and set, not gooey. It'll get those crispy yummy edges and bottom too. Mmmmmm.

A note on the squash and other ingredients: we like a lot of squash in ours. I will double the amount above if the yellow squash is particularly small. Play with the recipe and figure out how much of each ingredient works for your taste. Like I said above, we like more cheese, so over time I added more. I make this one year round and cooking it in the microwave is very convenient in the summer.

A note on the cooking method: You CAN cook this in the oven if you prefer, although I honestly am not sure about the time length. I would cook it at 350-375 for about an hour. Keep an eye on it since you'll be 'sperimenting. If it's golden brown on top and an inserted knife comes out clean, I'd call it done.

Great for making ahead of time and is yummy left over.

Hope you enjoy it! Looking at you, Holly. ;)

Mmmmm ...Casserole

We're having a company luncheon today and as of yesterday they were still in need of vegetable dishes and casseroles. We've instituted this new policy whereby when we do at-office company luncheons, we all chip in and bring something; food, drinks, utensils, etc. One big happy damn family!!!

But, baby, I've been waiting years to bring a casserole to work.

Mmmmm, casserole.

Questionable ingredients. Things you can't see. A possible delight in every bite!

Once upon a time, when I was just a tiny shrimp here there was a potluck thing at work and I had no idea. So I beebopped to work only to find out later that there was a luncheon and could everyone go set up their dishes and yada fricken' yada. Well, my ass got ragged on (playfully, I know, but it was a lot of how dare you have no dish, ya tart) for not bringing a dish. I was really embarrassed. I used to embarrass easily. Ppffffttt.

But now I have gained my honor back by bringing them -yes!- a gosh damned casserole! It's my mom's squash casserole (not that soupy shit, it's mo bettah dan dat)...and they do not deserve it! Well, except for a select few peeps. It's yellow and zuccini squash with yummy cheesy goodness and it's one of my favorite dishes to make. Mmmmmm.

Say it with me now with all the delight you gain upon seeing one - casserole. No, no. Draw it out. Kind of slowly lick the word as it makes it's way out of your mouth. Thaaaas right.

So hell yeah, it's Friday AND I will have redemption for eight years of pain and anguish over one measly casserole! Oh thank you, Casserole Gods!

Casserole.

ETA: I just went to warm up my cass and there was this line-up of crocks - it's the March of the Crock Pots! There was a power outage briefly up there due to all of them. It's a grand day to be at work.

Blog Fail

Holy duck sauce! Hey, Chinese sounds good tonight. *slaps self* What I really meant to say is - Holy Duck Sauce! Why have I not been here in almost a month? I love my little whiny blog with all its kitties and...and the pink! And the bitching. Yeah.

*hugs blog*

Today's LOLCat has nothing to do with this here post, I simply found it to be one of the best LOLCat's to date! LOVE it.

And there's not really anything much exciting going on lately. I did get a new car, a Hyundai Santa Fe and it's a great little spitfire of an SUV/crossover. Still getting used to it, but kidlet loves the DVD player that unfolds above her seat. Oh yeah. Life is suddenly MUCH more quiet going and coming each day.

Speaking of kidlet, her birthday is coming up the middle of March, so I'm prepping for that already. Got her present ordered, some ladybug artwork from Pottery Barn Kids. Kidlet loves the ladybugs. We hunt for them in the summertime, so I thought she'd like those. There's four, 15" square pieces, so they'll make a nice display above her bed.

I also decided to go with a Disney princess theme for her party - which will pretty much just be her, us and the rest of the fam. Since she's turning four though it might be time to start inviting some other kids. Maybe? None of her daycare friends live near us....and I'm bad parent and don't know he other parents very well. Don't give me that look, we're all just trying to get to work and then home in the afternoons.

So anyway, I thought I'd get her a cake w/the princesses on it and I just know she'll be psyched about that. Some Disney plates, napkins and voila! Party.

Other than that, hubbster and I are going this Friday to Atlanta to see Robin Williams at The Fabulous Fox Theater. Can't wait! We're taking the op since we're two hours away to spend the night and take our time coming home the next day. Kidlet will be overjoyed to stay w/her meme.

So yep, nothing much interesting happening. See yas next time!

I Feel It's Finally Time...

...For My Two Readers to Understand the Dynamics of My Marriage.

Before we get started, yes, I think that's the best split blog post header I've ever come up with too. Thx.

My husband appreciates my sense of humor, therefore I let him live. I allow him all sorts of other perks for it too, but I think going any further would TMI you to death. And I really don't want to run off either of my two readers!

So to demonstrate how well the hubbster and I gel, observe a series of emails we've exchanged the last couple of days or so. To enlighten you to the situation, hubbster asked me to design in Photoshop for him a few stylized buttons he could use on a program he was doing for work, you know, those bubble-looking buttons we see on some websites. Without further ado:

ME:

See if you can do anything with these hon. Let me know if they don’t look the way you want.

Love ya.

Hubbster:

I found a utility on my laptop to build the buttons I want.... check out the attachment....
Also I am about to go to vulcan materials, (Auburn) I have to be there at 4:30 for a shutdown...I probably will not get home until after 8:00 or so...

love ya

ME:

Well fuck you then...and your buttons!!

JK. :)

Love you. See you when you get home.

Hubbster:

did you like my buttons I created

ME:

No!

JK. They are sooooo beautiful. Not bad.

Hubbster:

i so proud of myself

ME:

* pet’s Bryan’s head *

Hubbster:

yes pet, pet, prrrrrrr.

ME:

LOL! You are in a silly mood today. And you never email me this much in one day, let alone return my emails....who the hell are you?!!!!!!! Where is the man known as Bryan Montgomery? Where are you keeping him?!!!

Hubbster:

I AM A ROBOT... BRYAN IS DEAD.... the humans are dead.... THEY ARE DEAD.... THERES A HUMAN,,,, i smell him he is dead......BINARY SOLO. 000011100001110101011101010111........

ME:

Siiigghhhhh. Dreamy sigh that is. OK, you can stay, whichever version of Bryan you are. Can we go do it now?

Hubbster:

Go do what???

ME:

You asshole. Gonna be another cold night, I see.

Hubbster:

LOL, It doesnt have to be a cold night.....I would love to give you a back masage, and some other things if your lucky...

ME:

It’s a great offer, but you massage these days like you’re thinking about work at the same time. In other words, quite shitty. Care to kick it up a notch and do it right? I may consider then. As for the other stuff, the massage is your test and entry fee.

Can you feel the love tonight? And were you too hearing that song from The Lion King as you read the previous sentence? Anywho, I hope you could literally feel the love hubbster and I share. It's an enduring, prickly love and we wouldn't have it any other way. I hope like hell he gets those massage skills brought up to par before tonight too, or there'll be some screams of pain in our neighborhood tonight. From both of us.